Sometimes i think the human heart is just a simple shelf. There's only so much you can pile onto it before something falls off an edge and you are left to pick up the pieces.



first day of the holiday and i pretty much wasted it all away. its just terribly boring to stay at home and i feel not a kick of motivated to pick up my books and study. i figured that i could probably spend this one month wasting my life or really working hard to do well for my exams. and right now i pretty made my mind up on the former. hell. i need some kind of determination.

finally its the holidays again. i swear the last week of school is damn boring like crazy. so boring it made me decide to not go school yesterday. partly because i was not feeling very well, but also because it sucked to go to school and den see half of the cohort not around, while you have to attend a terrible course about leadership in CHINESE. not to mention i dont see how the course was linked to leadership in ANY WAY. so well i skipped school, like a lot of other people i know.

anyway holiday starts its time to get really really bored. plus im almost halfway through the book i bought already. great its one month of studying for our damned mid years. oh its not called mid years, its called term tests. how clever.

down with E&C week. its just terribly boring me out. all my friends are like overseas? and its like only left me here in Singapore rotting my ass off in school. so i went out with the weirdest company i would have today. okay not so weirdest, but still very unfamiliar. i went with sihui and yunhan to Koi Cafe at Chinatown and then to Vivocity. but well, at least i had company. we shopped around at Vivo, had this stupid problem with the security gates at Zara and Topshop: it kept ringing whenever i walked into the store. i guess probably its my camera and equipment in my bag. so totally embarassing to walk out of the store and its ringing. but after i rearranged the things in my bag it was okay. so we dropped by Page One, and i splurged(YES SPLURGED) on JODI PICOULT's new BOOK, HOUSE RULES.the reason why it is called splurging is because i haven't probably spent a single cent on anything other that food and cameras since the start of the year. okay that's exaggerating. but its been long since i bought anything else. well if you wanna borrow that book, long queue. gotta have to wait. before buying it someone already wanted to borrow; after buying it two more people wants to borrow it. or just pay $28.89 express fee.

i need my health back. i want my health, stamina, muscles, tan and determination back!!! ever since the start of the year i've realised how weak im getting, it is as if i grew older by ten years in a few weeks. and right now i only just recovered from a fever and still have this incessant cough that bugs my throat like crazy. when i recover i will exercise like i did in year 4. sometimes you really ask yourself: why am i doing this? then i will ask you: why are you on Facebook? ahhh, just doesnt make sense.
and NO, that does not mean i will return to basketball training.
break ups are always hard, especially if you have to deal with so many people.

i saw this nice sunset while walking home from the corridor, so i whipped out my camera to get a shot of it. i know its not a good photo but hell i had my heavy bag to carry and was in a hurry to go home and shit.
then i realised i didnt have enough reach on my kit lens. so i changed lens. and this is what i got

shocking,
how the mien of the sky can change so abruptly,
just like everything else.

the sun so bright makes the clouds black,
the colour of rebellion.
and too the colour of elegance.


postscript: yes its a bad photo of the sunset i know.

haven't posted in a while. im so happy holidays are finally coming. well though they technically not holidays. but hell, a well deserved rest from the hectic school term. much needed.
anyway i've been real sick the past two days. its the worse i've been in like a decade. severe severe fever and headache. and a raw throat. i was in bed for like 15 hours of the day. my immune system is going down down down down.... exercise here i come!!!

Yawning is contagious - even thinking about yawning is enough. After reading this fact, there is a 50% chance you will yawn.

Research shows that 11-week-old fetuses yawn. Yawns become contagious to people between the first and second years of life. When one person in a group yawns, over half of the people in the group will yawn within 5 minutes, and the rest will at least be tempted to yawn. Even animals yawn when they see another animal yawn. The average duration of a yawn is about 6 seconds, and guys yawn for longer than girls.


lyrics from Muse- Neutron Star Collision

I was searching you were on a mission
Then our hearts combined like a neutron star collision
I have nothing left to lose
You took your time to choose
Then we told each other with no trace of fear that

Our love would be forever
And if we die, we die together
Well I, I said never
Cause our love would be forever

The world is broken, halos fail to glisten
We try to make a difference but no one wants to listen
Hail the preachers, fake and proud
Their doctrines will be cloud
Then they'll dissipate like snowflakes in an ocean

Love is forever and we'll die
We'll die together
Well I, I said never
Cause our love, could be forever

Now I've got nothing left to lose
You take your time to choose
I can tell you now without a trace of fear

That my love will be forever
And well die, we'll die together
Will I, I will never
Cause our love will be forever

well don't let the photo fool you.

Hatred is just like taking photographs. you have to get the exposure, focus, lighting, composition, conditions all of these minute details just right. every right setting you make to each of the factors makes the photo that comes out better, with more emotion. and by the end result it will be a masterpiece, one that is beyond measure. the only difference is that one is admiration while hatred's result will almost definitely be revenge. very different yet almost similar, because there are what i work towards. nothing is gonna stop me from achieving what i want. tackling those that stand in my way. eventually it will be me sitting back and admiring my work. and at the end, it will be too all ugly you won't even be able to recognize the difference. or yourself. or me. for nothing. nothing..

Here's a cloudy day to help you. No brazen sun.
No sun ... No sun. The weather's changed.

then, revenge would be mine,
like a candy, tucked high up in my cheek.
this, just a warning sign,
for now begins, the reprisal i seek.

I am sick and i am tired of this life! for the past freaking week its just work work and more work. now till next wednesday its just stress after stress and it just feels like time is oozing(yeah The Voice) from the clock. i cannot envision myself making it and surviving all the way till Wednesday. it feels like i might just kick the bucket anytime soon. they say "oh it just two years of your life you have to work hard!", but its just rubbish. two years of my youth wasted i say.
i don't really appreciate the fact that we humans have evolved all the way to what we are now. just because we have created better ways to tackle things and create convenience for ourselves. because we didnt just enable convenience for ourselves, no we didnt, not without the expense of other living things on this planet. think about it. more importantly it seems as if our very selfish act has also brought about impending disaster for this planet itself. think about the environmental harm that we are doing to Earth now. deadly oil spills and poisonous(in the enviromental sense) carbon dioxide. funny how they call it the pride of humankind to be what we are today. very soon we will all die under the consequences of our very actions. how ironic.

maybe its time to go all back to square one.


because i never told you, what i should have said.

i'm sorry for sounding like a total geek here. but hell look at this

its just technology on the move. totally. people you all should buy it if you are looking for dslr quality photos.

i don't seem to understand this misunderstanding caused between people when they write things online. okay i don't really like when someone writes something really ambiguous on his/her blog/twitter/facebook, and then you take it really offensively. and you have(HAVE!) to write something equally ambiguous to aggravate matters. its just a little bit dumb luh.

i just finished the lit essay!!!!!! one of two. just received another one today. which means another week of work and stress. crap i hate this few weeks already.

okay great i typed a post just now and because GOOGLE doesnt allow you to log into multiple gmail accounts on a single browser, none of my stuff got saved. super irritated.
so here is a more lazy retyped version, with chunks removed.

i was looking up lomography and other camera formats and i stumbled upon OLD FILM SLRS!!!!!
yes classic cameras that run on film and were actually the best cameras around decades ago.



they just look so classical and nostalgic(not that i own film slrs before but just looking at them make me feel that way) that i want to buy them.
but hell i have to save money for other stuff. shall get one of these next time. or not?

busy like hell three weeks ahead. its so tiring so tiring. grrr. i have a lit graded assessment essay due next wed as well as chemical bonding special assignment as well as math test on thursday. then the following week there is another essay, together with physics test. oh and then GPP to hand up in two weeks. im not terribly glad that the PW groupings are out. because my group member dont seem like a whole lot of fun. but well PW isnt about fun anyway is it.

anyway the only thing that actually brightens up my days are being with my classmates. afterall they are a much more lively class than my year 3 and 4 class. being in 5N makes me laugh. i dunno why but everyone is just so damn funny. haha love going out on tuesday during free periods and laughing our asses off.

i need money money money......

come in with the rain

what's with all those dumb middle names that people call themselves on facebook? i mean no offense but it is really quite funny and dumb to see people calling themselves SOMETHING for their middle name. worst of all if that middle name isn't a word you can find at all. I've just seen it so many times in facebook profiles and i cant help but think about how retarded it would seem if someone was to call your so called "middle name" in real life. we are Chinese! stop humiliating yourself.

anyway there's a chemistry test tomorrow and i'm right here blogging. god damn it. actually i dont really care because i haven't been listening to the teacher ever since he came anyway. so i guess i won't be doing well for this test. unless my last minute self study can help it. nothing else seems to be able to. so let's get down to work shall we.



You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know.
And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go.
Oh the places you'll go.
Who would ever know.

friends, you cant do without

thanks to all that wished me happy birthday and more importantly those that went out with me these two days. its really enjoyable to have friends celebrate your birthday with you and i must say it is certainly one of the best things in life. its beeen such a great weekend. amidst all the suay things that happen.

anyway tmr's back to the hectic life of school work. time to get stressed again.






Picture perfect memories
scattered all around the floor.
reaching for the phone,
cause I cant fight it anymore.

And i wonder if I ever cross your mind
for me it happens all the time

Its a quarter after one i'm all alone and I
need you now
said I wouldn't call
but I lost all control and I need you now,
and I don't know how I can do without
i just need you now

Another shot of whiskey
cant stop looking at the door,
wishing you'd come sweeping
in the way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind,
for me it happens all the time

Its a quarter after one i'm a little drunk and I
need you now
said I wouldn't call
but I lost all control and
I need you now.
and I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now...

wooh oo wooh oh

Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all

Its a quarter after one i'm all alone and I
need you now
and I said I wouldn't call
but i'm a little drunk and I need you now
and I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now

oh baby I need you now