so i havent been updating lately. what have i been doing recently?

having car rides.

watching cars ride.


shopping for laptop bags with my sis.


and drinking out of my mug at home.

and of course, there is always Project Work. which no photo can portray the agony of it all.

Cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time

WHY IS SHE THE HEARTBREAKER THIS TIME?!!! damn you Taylor Lautner. all your fault douche.

its kinda like bursting a balloon,
to be left reeling in shock of what cannot be undone.

if you need me now, but i cant seem to find the time.

one day i'm going to go stargazing. being in singapore is like being in an ocean without fish.
i wanna go traveling when i grow up, go to nice and beautiful places to capture moments with my camera.

just one day, im going to fly to the South, Australia
rent myself a car, Land Rover.
go wandering round, aimless
as i forget all, my troubles.
care less

And it hurts so bad that I search my skin
For the entry point, where love went in
And ricocheted and bounced around
And left a hole when you walked out yeah

nah sometimes we just think about things.

i shot sunflowers in school today again!!!

i feel that my life is like a sunflower that just pried
open,
because the end is nigh
choking.

all that glitters

when i saw this photo, i was immediately reminded of that time when Melody's group was discussing her PW. i overheard them discussing about what kind of stuff they wanna put to show the "music theme", or something like that. and i said: "DISCO BALL!!!". but they never took my idea anyway. hahaha

its kinda how some people are, just flashy on the outside.
but really hollow inside.

you finish sewing one seam shut, and another rips open. i have come to believe that this life i am wearing will never really fit.

posted this before. but hey how many times in life do you get the same feeling over and over again?

haven't laughed so hard in a while.

lately i have reflected upon things that i have come to regret. and then i realised that they are indeed plenty. but then again i cant turn back time and say: "no, this shall not happen". because if i were to be able to do that, then life would be such a bore. William Bell wrote this to Walter Bishop in his will in the show Fringe; "do not be be afraid to cross the line." i guess that's how life should be lived. only with regret do we ever learn how we should deal with things next time.

only those that go too far could know how far they can possibly go.

Crying isn't a manifestation of weakness. Since birth, it has always been attestation that we are alive.

i guess the phrase "i am happy" is only as true as you believe it to be.

this is such a perfect example of how photography moves people. just looking at this photograph i can totally relate to the feeling of having lost a loved one. the emotions that are presented in a simple image is so touching and strong. just so powerful. even though it is just black and white, its like the perfect image for grief.

always searching for the sun; but forever at its mercy.

i don't know why but i feel so sad and melancholic. and no it is not PW. its just the fact that people i know are either unable to make it or on the edge of being unable to promote is such a wretched thing. i cannot imagine not being able to move on, having to stay and rehash the year's work over again. while being thrown into a completely new and unfamiliar company. it sucks just thinking about that already. i just feel so helpless and powerless when i think about how people are going to have to spend another year doing what they have done the year before.

it just makes me think of Coach Ken Carter's words in Coach Carter:

"I see a system that is designed for you to fail"

but this time the system is designed to see you succeed, even at the expense of retaining and wasting time. its so freaking ridiculous that students who dont do well in the first year have to stay back just to make sure they do well for A levels in order to gain the sch some reputation, and more importantly results. i don't know but i just think its not the right way education should be given.

and once again, i feel so compelled to say this:

"Those at the top of the totem pole never really see what's at the bottom."

i have observed too much in school lately to not say this.

i can't tell you what it really is
i can only tell you what it feels like.
and right now its a steel knife up my windpipe.
i can't breathe i cant fight while i can fight
as long as the wrong feels right its like i'm in flight.
high off of love drunk from my hate
its like i'm huffin' paint and i love it the more i suffer
i suffocate.
and right before i'm about to drown
she resuscitates me she fucking hates me and i love it wait
where you going?
im leaving you
no you ain't come back
we running right back
here we go again
its so insane
cause when its good its goin' great
i'm superman, with the wind it his back
shes Lois Lane
and when its bad its awful
i feel so ashamed i snap
who's that dude.
i laid hands on her
i never stoop so low again
i guess i dont know my own strength.

off the top of my head, i wrote this.
i just love that song too much.