a new beginning.

its been pretty long since I updated this blog, considering that I wasn't the one who posted the last post. it might be just time to start updating again, record down events of my life. so much has changed, for better and not for worse. I was wondering how I was gonna start, how do you tell the internet what has been going on with your life after such a long hiatus. and then I realised that it isn't that difficult. especially when all that has happened to me is such a blessing, and I just have to tell it to someone. and that would be you.

I realise my writing style has changed so much. I used to be so mellow and deep, like a nice rich bottle of wine. I blame that on adolescence. yet so much has changed. I matured even more, those strong feelings kind of faded into the darkness, and gone was the darkness and into the light. so I cannot expect myself to write in a certain kind of code like I used to; I'll try but it might seem like I'm trying too hard. still, I don't believe that to be something bad. after all growing up means you see through the mess of emotions into defining what is real and what is not. cutting through the clutter. or maybe, very possibly, those strong emotions have been invested into another person.

I cannot accurately describe what these past 7 months have been. except that they have been an awesome load of fun, laughter and love. it has been a whole new experience that brings its own whole new emotions and feelings. you'd never think you can feel so strongly about someone in a manner you've never imagined before. they say "you cannot define love" and that statement is undoubtedly true. has it been a rollercoaster ride? probably. but yet what many leave out in the phrase "rollercoaster ride" is that no matter how far you fall, you just know, almost for sure, that you will rise back up again. and it is this constantly changing momentum that provides its thrill. yet, we won't ever know when the ride goes downhill so as long as we hold the faith that it will go back up again, the thrill will never end.

maybe we would rather life and love without its ups and downs. but without them, we don't see whats important. what we are so afraid to lose in a blink of an eye. I cannot envision a time where I one day have to just forget anything ever happened, and I never will be able to. every date, every milestone is what I live for and what we live for. I'm lucky, for every date we've been out on, every milestone we have reached, every time my heart skips a beat, every new place we've found and every single time I look at you. then I realised; there's no way I'm ever letting you go.

this one is for you.

As years go by, I race the clock with you. But if you died right now, you know that I'd die too.